Married men lived longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Live Longer
Couples
Secret Box
Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband kept under their bed. The box had been there for the past 20 years of their marriage but she had never invaded his privacy.
One day, while cleaning, she decided to take a look in the box. She didn’t figure it was anything he was hiding since she could have looked at it any other time but hadn’t.
In the box she found 3 eggs and 10 thousand dollars. This seemed very strange so she went to Fred and asked, “Why are there 3 eggs in a box under out bed?” Fred replied, “Well, to be frank. Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box.” Sue was surprised and hurt that he had been unfaithful but she consoled herself with the fact that they had been married for over 20 years and he had only been unfaithful 3 times.
After calming down, Sue asked, “But what about the 10 thousand dollars, where did that came from?” Fred replies, “Well, every time I got a dozen, I sold them.”
I was in Love
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
Candle Light Dinner
David was not a very romantic person, and furthermore, he does not have much experience in candle light dinner with any girls. But he wanted to impress the girl he like, so he date her out to a candle light dinner.
During the dinner, he watches other couples around them, trying to follow their leads to sweet talk to the girl. He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his girl-friends cup and said, “Sugar, sugar?”. David thought this was a great and continued to listen to other couples around the restaurant.
Another table sits another couple and the man spooned out some honey out to a bowl for his girl-friend and asked, “honey, honey?”. Again David thought this was good idea.
Finally, David’s table food were served. He cuts off a piece of his pork chop, stared longingly into the girl’s eye and said, “Ham, Pig?”
Marriage Prayer
On the night of their wedding, a young couple finally retired to their hotel room. After making her preparations, the bride came out of the bathroom to find the bridegroom on his knees in front of the bed. “What are you doing?” she asked. “I’m praying for guidance,” answered the young man. “I’ll take care of that,” she replied. “You pray for endurance.”
Sex Freak
This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this accent say, “You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.”
So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, “I have some special sandals I think you’d be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.” Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?”
The Pakistani man replied, “Just try them on.” Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn’t seen in many years — raw sexual power. In a blink of an eye, the husband rushed the Pakistani man, threw him on a table and started tearing at the guy’s pants.
All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, “YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!”.
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