Friday, November 22, 2024
Tags Posts tagged with "Airplane"

Airplane

Kids Are So Smart These Days Jokes Times

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and he smiles.

‘OK, ‘ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’To which the little girl replies,

‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know sh*t?

You Complain too much Jokes Times

On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks “And get me a whisky you cow!”

The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls “And get me another whisky you idiot”.

Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot’s approach “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I’ll kick you”.

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says “For someone who can’t fly, you complain too much!”

Flying to Europe Jokes Times

Maudie is flying on a jumbo-jet to Europe. Once in the air the loudspeaker comes on “This is your captain Emilia Rodrigues. We are cruising at 35,000 feet…etc. etc.” When the announcement is finished Maudie beckons to a stewardess and asks, “Is it really true that this great big airplane is being flown by a woman?”

“Yes, says the stewardess, Captain Rodrigues is a woman.”

“How wonderful!” Maudie replied “I am so excited! Do you think you can arrange for me to go up to the cockpit to congratulate her?”

“Yes, I think I can arrange that. You might also like to know that the co-pilot is also a woman.”

“Oh, how exciting. This is wonderful news! Please let me go to the cockpit so I can congratulate them both!”

“OK, you can do that. You might like to know that actually the entire crew of this plane are women.”

“That is the most exciting thing I have heard in a long time …this has really made my day … I just have to go to the cockpit to express my admiration!”

“One more thing you might like to know …we don’t call it the cockpit any more.”

Baby Airplanes Jokes Times

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines fromKansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big airplanes have baby airplanes?”

The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.

So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. Thestewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, “Did your Mom tell you to ask me?”

The boy said, “yes she did.”

“Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you.”

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New Stewardess Jokes Times

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the steward the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.

“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?” The stewardess replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she cried, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

Baby Planes Jokes Times

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The mother said, “Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess.”

So the boy asked the stewardess, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The stewardess responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?”

The boy admitted that this was the case. “Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you.”

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