Home Remedies
- If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
- Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
- Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
- High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
- A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
- Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
- Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
- AND….. Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the duct tape.
- If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
- And finally… Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
