Guy Jokes
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How do men define a “50/50” relationship?
We cook — they eat; we clean — they dirty; we iron — they wrinkle.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What’s the smartest thing a man can say?
“My wife says…”
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because none of them will stop to ask for directions.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there.
