Big Ass

John and his wife were working in their garden one day when John looks over at his wife and says, “Your ass is getting really big. I bet your ass is bigger than the barbecue.” With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife’s bottom. “Yes, I was right, your ass is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!”

The wife chose to ignore the husband. Later that night in bed John was feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”