Sunday, August 9, 2026
Tags Posts tagged with "Newspaper"

Newspaper

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Adam Organs Jokes Times

One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news.

‘I’ve got some good news and some bad news’, The Lord said.

Adam looked at The Lord and said, ‘Well, give me the good news first.’

Smiling, The Lord explained, ‘I’ve got two new organs for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve.

The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.’

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, ‘These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?’

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, ‘The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time.’

Flying to Europe Jokes Times

Maudie is flying on a jumbo-jet to Europe. Once in the air the loudspeaker comes on “This is your captain Emilia Rodrigues. We are cruising at 35,000 feet…etc. etc.” When the announcement is finished Maudie beckons to a stewardess and asks, “Is it really true that this great big airplane is being flown by a woman?”

“Yes, says the stewardess, Captain Rodrigues is a woman.”

“How wonderful!” Maudie replied “I am so excited! Do you think you can arrange for me to go up to the cockpit to congratulate her?”

“Yes, I think I can arrange that. You might also like to know that the co-pilot is also a woman.”

“Oh, how exciting. This is wonderful news! Please let me go to the cockpit so I can congratulate them both!”

“OK, you can do that. You might like to know that actually the entire crew of this plane are women.”

“That is the most exciting thing I have heard in a long time …this has really made my day … I just have to go to the cockpit to express my admiration!”

“One more thing you might like to know …we don’t call it the cockpit any more.”

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The Three Bear Fairy Tales Jokes Times

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the big table he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. “Who’s been eating my porridge?”he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. “Who’s been eating my Porridge?”he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, “For God’s sake, how many times do we have to go through this? It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the table, it was Momma Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat’s water and fooddish, and, now that you’ve decided to drag your sorry bear-butts downstairs, and grace Momma Bear’s kitchen with your grumpy presence….. listen good, cause I’m only going to say this one more time

“I HAVEN’T MADE THE DAMN PORRIDGE YET!!!”

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ID Ten T Error Jokes Times

Young Jane, the editor of a news publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Tim, the computer guy, over to her desk.

Tim clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, Jane called after him, “So, what was wrong?”

And he replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”

A puzzled expression ran riot over Jane’s face. “An ID ten T error? What’s that … in case I need to fix it again??”

He gave her a grin… 😉 … “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”

“No,” replied Jane.

“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”

(She wrote…) I D 1 0 T Error

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