Home Tags Posts tagged with "Doctor"

Doctor

The Gorilla

Jun 5, 2021

0 222

A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage, when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation.

He grabs her yanks her over the fence and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.

Her friend visits her the next day and asks” Are you hurt?” She replies. Of Course I’m hurt, He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!

Stuttering

Jun 5, 2021

0 245

A stuttering man finally decides to go to the doctor to see if his speech impediment can be cured. The doctor thoroughly examines the man and finally asks him to drop his pants.

Out comes this gigantic dick and the doctor pronounces the root of the problem to be strain on the vocal chords from the effects of gravity being transmitted up to the neck area.

The patient then asks, “wh-wh-at c-c-ca-an b-b-e d-d-done ab-b-bout- t-t i-i-t?” to which the doctor replies, “modern surgery can work miracles. We can replace your dick with one of normal size and the stuttering will disappear right after the operation.”

The patient eagerly agrees to the surgery, and as promised his stuttering disappears.

About 3 months later the man returns to the doctor and complains, “doctor, I am grateful to you for having cured me, but my wife really misses a big dick, and rather than lose her I’ve decided to get my old dick back and live with stuttering for the rest of my life.” The doctor then looks straight at the man and replies, “d-d- de-deal’s a d-d-deal.”

Skin Graft

Jun 5, 2021

0 209

A married couple was in a terrible accident in which the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too thin. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, just want to thank you for everything you did for me There is no way I could ever repay you,”

“My darling,” he replied, “think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

Four Life-long Friends

Jun 5, 2021

1 194

Four life-long friends, a doctor, lawyer, professor and a businessman, belonging to the same exclusive club had made a pact. When anyone of them dies, they agreed the others will lay $5,000 each inside his coffin so he’ll have some spending money in the after life.

Well, one day the professor passes away. At his funeral, the three friends took turns going up to his coffin and paying their last respects.

The doctor was first, laying 50 $100 bills inside the casket. Next was the businessman, tearfully placing his $5,000 cash next to the deceased friend.

Then the lawyer approached the coffin, wrote out a cheque for $15,000, laid it in the casket and picked up the $10,000 in cash!

Short Changed

Jun 5, 2021

0 218

A man went to the doctor and said, “Doctor, I’ve got a problem, but if you’re going to treat it, first you’ve got to promise not to laugh.”

“Of course I won’t laugh,” the doctor said. “I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.”

“Okay then,” the man said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor has ever seen.

Unable to control himself, the doctor fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won’t happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?”

“It’s swollen.”

Wrong Expression

Jun 5, 2021

0 231

“Doc,” says Steve, “I want to be castrated.”

“What on earth for?” asks the doctor in amazement.

“It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done” replies Steve.

“But have you thought it through properly?” asks the doctor, “It’s a very serious operation and once it’s done, there’s no going back. It will change your life forever!”

“I’m aware of that and you’re not going to change my mind — either you book me in to be castrated or I’ll simply go to another doctor.”

“Well, OK.”, says the doctor, “But it’s against my better judgment!”

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

“Hi there,” says Steve,”It looks as if you’ve just had the same operation as me.”

“Well,” said the patient, “I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised.”

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, “****! THAT’S the word!”