A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled in auto mechanic school.
He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade. “I gave you 50 points for taking the engine apart correctly,” the teacher said, “50 points for putting it back together correctly — and an extra 100 points for doing it all through the muffler.”
Little Girl to her friend: “I’m never having kids. I hear they take nine months to download.”
A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.
“I’ll never do that again!” he told his mother that evening. “I didn’t catch a thing!”
“Oh, next time I’m sure she’ll be quiet and not scare the fish away,” his mother said.
The boy said, “It wasn’t that. She ate all the bait.”
I have a friend named Jack, who is a pilot on a 747.
I said “Hi Jack. “He shot me.
A grocer put up a sign that read “Eggplants, 25¢ each – three for a dollar.” All day long, customers came in exclaiming: “Don’t be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!” Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants.
The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, “Aren’t you going to fix the mistake on your sign?” “What mistake?” the grocer asked. “Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant.”
Helpdesk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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