Friday, April 17, 2026
Popular

A Women Little Instruction Book Jokes Times

Woman don’t make fools of men — most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you’re sick of him.

Never trust a man who says he’s the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.

The woman’s work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

If you think the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach you’re aiming too high.

Go for younger men. You might as well — they never mature anyway.

A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay.

Men are all the same — they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Definition of a man with manners — he gets out of the bath to pee.

Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.

Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men — a woman.

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men — strong, caring, loving — they’d be wrong but you could still use them.

Men are like animals — messy, insensitive and potentially violent — but they make great pets.

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – “don’t” and “stop”.

Husbands are like children — they’re fine if they’re someone else’s.

Volleyball Court Jokes Times

Earlier this week, a Microsoft security guard caught two non-Microsoft employees playing volleyball on our campus volleyball court and asked them to leave the premises.

When asked by a fellow employee how he knew that the two were not Microsoft employees, the guard replied: “They had tans.”

0 466
12 Year Old Bottle of Scotch Jokes Times

A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch.

The bartender, believing that the customer will not be able to tell the difference, pours him a shot of the cheap 3-year-old house scotch that has been poured into an empty bottle of the good stuff.

The man takes a sip and spits the scotch out on the bar and reams the bartender. “This is the cheapest 3-year-old scotch you can buy. I’m not paying for it. Now, give me a good 12-year-old scotch.”

The bartender, now feeling a bit of a challenge, pours him a scotch of much better quality, 6-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip and spit sit out on the bar. “This is only 6-year-old scotch. I won’t pay for this, and I insist on a good,12-year-old scotch.The bartender finally relents and serves the man his best quality, 12-year-old scotch. The man sips the drink and says, “Now that’s more like it.”

An old drunk from the end of the bar, who has witnessed the entire episode, walks down to the finicky scotch drinker and sets a glass down in front of him and asks, “What do you think of this?” The scotch expert takes a sip, and in disgust, violently spits out the liquid yelling “THIS TASTES LIKE PISS.”

To which the old drunk replies, “That’s right, now guess how old I am.”

0 288
The Gorilla Jokes Times

A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage, when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation.

He grabs her yanks her over the fence and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.

Her friend visits her the next day and asks” Are you hurt?” She replies. Of Course I’m hurt, He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!

0 203
Computer Women Jokes Times

A .. HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything you say and do, FOREVER.!!!

B… WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can’t do anything right, but you can’t live without her.

C… EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for only four of your basic needs.

D… SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing functional, but at least she is exciting, colourful, and lots of fun!

E… INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access and hard to keep running.!!!

F… SERVER Woman: Claims to be available to you, but Always busy when you need her.

G… MULTIMEDIA Woman: She has a way of making horrible things look very beautiful.

H… CD-ROM Woman: She always has you on the move, going faster and faster.!!!

I… E-MAIL Woman: Out of Every ten things she says, eight are plain nonsense.

J… VIRUS Woman: Also known as “WIFE”; when you are least expecting her, she shows up, installs herself, and starts gobbling up all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose almost every thing. If you don’t try to uninstall her, you will still have nothing.

0 132
Unlucky Nun Jokes Times

There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk. I mean really, really, really drunk.

When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk.

So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well the nun was really surprised but before she could do or say anything he punched her again.

This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt.

Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn’t move.

So then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said. “Not very strong tonight, are you Batman?”

YOU MAY LIKE

Single or Married? Jokes Times

0 508
Questions concerning love and wisdom were posed to a group of children (ages 5 to 10). Their responses were amazingly astute and very enlightening,...
Smearing Prints Jokes Times

Walking the Dog Jokes Times

New Member in Family Jokes Times

Graveside Grief Jokes Times

FACEBOOK

4,844FansLike