Saturday, July 11, 2026
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Blind Dog on a Plane Jokes Times

John was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time the plane took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked.

Unexpectedly, they stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if they wanted to get off the aircraft, they would re-board in thirty minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. John noticed him as he walked by and could tell he had flown before because his seeing eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight.

John could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, “Keith, we’re in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”

Keith replied, “No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs. Would you take him for me please?”

Now picture this. All the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses that day. People scattered not only trying to change planes but also trying to change airlines!

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5 Story Hotel Jokes Times

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only”. Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.”

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and plain.”

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”

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No Pets Allowed Jokes Times

There’s a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us and pets are not allowed in there.” The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, “Just follow my lead.”

They walked over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk. A guy at the door says, “Sorry sir, no pets allowed.” The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, “You don’t understand, this is my seeing-eye dog.” The guy at the door says, “A Doberman Pinscher?” The guy with the Doberman Pinshcer says, “Yes, they’re using them now, they’re very good.” The guy at the door says, “Come on in.”

The guy with the Chihuahua also puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk to the door. The guy at the door says, “Sorry sir, no pets allowed.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “You don’t understand, this is my seeing-eye dog.” The guy at the door says, “A Chihuahua?” The guy with the Chihuahua replies, “You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?”

Bear Hunting Jokes Times

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.

He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, “You skin this one while I go and get another one!”

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Computer Women Jokes Times

A .. HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything you say and do, FOREVER.!!!

B… WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can’t do anything right, but you can’t live without her.

C… EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for only four of your basic needs.

D… SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing functional, but at least she is exciting, colourful, and lots of fun!

E… INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access and hard to keep running.!!!

F… SERVER Woman: Claims to be available to you, but Always busy when you need her.

G… MULTIMEDIA Woman: She has a way of making horrible things look very beautiful.

H… CD-ROM Woman: She always has you on the move, going faster and faster.!!!

I… E-MAIL Woman: Out of Every ten things she says, eight are plain nonsense.

J… VIRUS Woman: Also known as “WIFE”; when you are least expecting her, she shows up, installs herself, and starts gobbling up all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose almost every thing. If you don’t try to uninstall her, you will still have nothing.

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Unlucky Nun Jokes Times

There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk. I mean really, really, really drunk.

When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk.

So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well the nun was really surprised but before she could do or say anything he punched her again.

This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt.

Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn’t move.

So then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said. “Not very strong tonight, are you Batman?”

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