What are 3 problems about being an egg?
You only get laid once.
The only woman to sit on your face is your mother
It takes 4 minutes to get hard.
What are 3 problems about being an egg?
You only get laid once.
The only woman to sit on your face is your mother
It takes 4 minutes to get hard.
A man goes to his doctor, seat just infront of the doctor and says, “I think my wife’s hearing is failing and not as good as it used to be, what should I do?” The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a questions, if she doesn’t respond, keep moving closer asking the same question until she hears you.”
The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stand about fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey?” He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet, still no answer.
Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” His wife replies, “For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, you deaf idiot!”
My Mother taught me LOGIC…”If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.”
My Mother taught me MEDICINE…”If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they’re going to freeze that way.”
My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD…”If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job!”
My Mother taught me ESP…”Put your sweater on; don’t you think that I know when you’re cold?”
My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE…”What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you…Don’t talk back to me!”
My Mother taught me HUMOR…”When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…”If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.
My mother taught me about GENETICS…”You are just like your father!”
My mother taught me about my ROOTS…”Do you think you were born in a barn?”
My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE…”When you get to be my age, you will understand.”
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION…”Just wait until your father gets home.”
My mother taught me about RECEIVING…”You are going to get it when we get home.”
And, my all-time favorite – JUSTICE…”One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU — then you’ll see what it’s like!”
Woman 1: I took my son to the zoo yesterday.
Woman 2: Really, did they accept him?
When I was in junior. high, all I wanted was a girl with big tits. In high school, I dated a girl with big tits, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.
In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.
I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.
After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned. Now all I want is a girl with big tits.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = marriage
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy