A non-Christian with zero knowledge in Christianity goes to Vatican for the first time and suddenly meets the Pope in the street. The Pope, the kind person that he really is, took the man aside and explained him all about Christianity for half an hour. When he was done, the non-Christian guy says to him “So Mr. Pope, is your wife a Catholic or a Prostitute?”
Researchers released a list of foods and activities to help combat osteoporosis, the dreaded disorder that leaches calcium from the bones as people age.
The distinguished lead scientist mounts the podium to make his announcement and gives the highlights of the list.
To no one’s surprise, broccoli and cauliflower are there, and the researchers also encourage regular exercise, such as walking, running, cycling or swimming to prevent calcium loss from the bones.
But, one reporter, reading ahead, shouts from the front row, “You’ve got kissing on the list as a way to prevent osteoporosis! There isn’t any calcium in a kiss!”
The scientist replied calmly, “In a good kiss, there’s enough calcium to make a BONE about 6 to 8 inches long.”
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.
The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup size, speaker size, and storage capacity.
This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
“You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
“What took you so long to answer?”
“I was in bed.”
“What were you doing in bed this late?”
“Getting a second opinion.”
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful John’s roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?” John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.”
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner…..love, John
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:
Dear Son,
I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Julie, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now………….Love, Mom
Little Girl to her friend: “I’m never having kids. I hear they take nine months to download.”
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