A man lying on his deathbed requested that his wife gather up all his money and place it in the attic. He would pick it up on his way out of this life.
Being the faithful, loving wife she had been for over 50 years, she did as she was told. Soon, the man died.
Weeks later, she remembered his request and went to the attic to see if he had followed through.
There, in the same place where she had left it, was the money. “I knew it,” she exclaimed, “I should have put it in the basement.”
The 75-year-old groom, with the young wife, caused a lot of attention as he checked into the resort hotel. The following morning, the old boy came strutting into the dining room, lookin’ great with a big smile on his face. He proceeded to order an enormous breakfast. He laughed and joked and was in obvious good spirits, whereas his young wife, who came into the room a half hour later, looked worn out. She ordered coffee in a voice so weak the waiter had to ask her to repeat the order.
The old man finished his breakfast, excused himself and left for their room.
This gave the waitress a chance to ask the bride, “Honey, I can’t figure it out. The old geezer, your husband, looks like a million and you look like two cents. What’s wrong?”
“That guy double-crossed me,” the bride said. “He told me he’d saved up for fifty years! And all the time I thought he was talking about money.
A scientist had previously been a sailor. He was very aware that ships are addresses as “she” and “her”. He often wondered what gender computers should be addressed. To answer that question, he set up two group of computer experts.
The first group was composed of women, and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend whether computer should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the masculine gender. They were asked to give 4 reasons for their recommendations.
The group of women reported that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
The men, on the other hand, concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:
A .. HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything you say and do, FOREVER.!!!
B… WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can’t do anything right, but you can’t live without her.
C… EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for only four of your basic needs.
D… SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing functional, but at least she is exciting, colourful, and lots of fun!
E… INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access and hard to keep running.!!!
F… SERVER Woman: Claims to be available to you, but Always busy when you need her.
G… MULTIMEDIA Woman: She has a way of making horrible things look very beautiful.
H… CD-ROM Woman: She always has you on the move, going faster and faster.!!!
I… E-MAIL Woman: Out of Every ten things she says, eight are plain nonsense.
J… VIRUS Woman: Also known as “WIFE”; when you are least expecting her, she shows up, installs herself, and starts gobbling up all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose almost every thing. If you don’t try to uninstall her, you will still have nothing.
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