What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
“Dam”.
What did the Fish Say
Amazing Dog
A man running a little behind schedule arrives at a picture theater, goes in to watch the movie that has already started.
As his eyes adjust to the darkness, he is surprised to see a dog sitting beside its master in the row ahead, intently watching the movie.
It even seemed to be enjoying the movie: wagging its tail in the happy bits, drooping its ears at the sad bits, and hiding its eyes with its paws at the scary bits.
After the movie, the man approaches the dogs owner, “Jeez mate, your dog really seemed to enjoy the movie. I’m amazed!”
“Yes, I’m amazed also,” came the reply. “He hated the book.”
Lonely Frog
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog is thrilled, “This is great!
“Will I meet her at a party?” he croaks.
“No,” says the psychic, “in biology class.”
Extra Water
An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water.
“That way,” he said, “You get an extra day out of them between drinks.
“As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel’s balls. The camel sucked in its breath and took on three days’ extra water.
“Doesn’t that hurt?” asked a tourist. “Nah,” replied the bloke. “Only if you get your fingers caught!”
Cross-eyed Rottweiler
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?”
“Well,” said the vet, “lets have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes.
“Hmm,” says the vet, “I’m going to have to put him down” “Just because he’s cross-eyed?” says the man.
“No, because he’s heavy,” says the vet.
The Bear and The Rabbit
A bear is sitting in the middle of a forest taking the biggest shit of his life and feeling dam good about it.
He looks down and sees a rabbit dumping a load right next to him. The bear looks at the rabbit and says, “Hey, uhh Mr. Rabbit, uhh do you have a problem withthe shit sticking to your fur?” The rabbit shakes his head no and says, “Nope, never bothers me.”
The bear says, “Good!” takes the rabbit and wipes his ass with him and then tosses him aside. bear is sitting in the middle of a forest taking the biggest shit of his life and feeling dam good about it.
He looks down and sees a rabbit dumping a load right next to him. The bear looks at the rabbit and says, “Hey, uhh Mr. Rabbit, uhh do you have a problem withthe shit sticking to your fur?” The rabbit shakes his head no and says, “Nope, never bothers me.”
The bear says, “Good!” takes the rabbit and wipes his ass with him and then tosses him aside.
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