Desert Camel

Jun 5, 2021

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A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?” The mother replies, “Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand”. “OK” said the son.

A few minutes later the son asks, “Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?” “They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert”, “Thanks Mom” replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, “Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?” The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, “They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods.”

“That’s great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom …” “Yes son?” “Why the heck are we in the San Diego zoo?”

Old Hound Dog

Jun 5, 2021

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Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door.

Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?”

“Yep, that’s him,” he replied. The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

“Because”, the owner replied, “before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”

Horse Races

Jun 5, 2021

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A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a newspaper.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it,” she replied.

“Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,” he explained.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have known there was a good explanation.”

Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.

When he came to, he asked, “What the hell was that for?”

She replied “Your horse called.”

Wide Mouth Frog

Jun 5, 2021

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There was once a wide mouth frog. She had babies and she didn’t know what to feed them.

She went to the cow, talking with her mouth real wide, she said, “COW, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?”

The Cow said, “I feed my babies milk.”

She went on to the horse. Talking with her mouth real wide, she said, “HORSE, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?”

“I feed my babies hay.” said the horse.

Finally she came to a snake. Talking with her mouth real wide, she said, “SNAKE, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?”

The snake said, “I feed my babies wide mouth frogs.”

So the frog said, with her mouth really small, “Oh, is that so.”

Poisonous or Not

Jun 5, 2021

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First snake: I hope I’m not poisonous.

Second snake: Why?

First snake: Because I bit my lip!

Dead Doberman

Jun 5, 2021

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A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?

“A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, “It’s my dog. Why?”

“Well,” squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, “I believe my dog just killed it, sir.”

“What?” roared the big man in disbelief. “What in the hell kind of dog do you have?”

“Sir,” answered the little man, “It’s a four week old puppy.”

“Bull!” roared the biker, “How could your puppy kill my Doberman?” “It appears that he choked on it, sir.”