Tuesday, November 26, 2024
Travel Jokes

This is a Long Trip Jokes Times

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland.

Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced “One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry we have three engines left”.

Thirty minutes later, the captain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don’t worry we have two engines left”.

An hour later the captain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don’t worry we have one engine left”.

One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day”

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Parcel for her Son Jokes Times

A woman was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where her husband was stationed in the military. As she checked in at the airport, the customs agent asked her some standard security questions.

“Has anyone given you any packages that you didn’t pack yourself?” he asked. The woman told him that her mother-in-law had given her a parcel to take to her son. The customs agent looked at the woman in a very carefully and asked, “Does she like you?”

Be Silent Jokes Times

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country.

She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, “BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO…..”

She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts “Be silent!”

There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, “OEING! OEING! OEING! OE….”

Kid in Airplane Jokes Times

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum.

No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy’s ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. “Excuse me, General,” she asks quietly, “but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?”

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, “I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose.”

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Be Silent Jokes Times

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense.

As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, “BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO…..” She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise.

Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts “Be silent!” There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot.

She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, “OEING! OEING! OEING! OE….”

He is a Liar Jokes Times

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America.

Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smouldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.

Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President’s staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was ploughing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened.

They hurried over to surround the man’s tractor. “Sir,” the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath. “Did you see this terrible accident happen?”

“Yep. Sure did.” The man muttered unconcernedly.

“Do you realize that is the President of the United States airplane?”

“Yep.” Answered the mane.

“Were there any survivors?” the agent gasped.

“Nope. They all kilt straight out.” The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor motor. “I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning.”

“The President of the United States is dead?” The agent gulped in disbelief.

“Well,” the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to his work. “He kept a-saying he wasn’t… but you know what a liar he is.”

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