A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying.”
Endless Debt
Home Hot
Parcel for her Son
A woman was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where her husband was stationed in the military. As she checked in at the airport, the customs agent asked her some standard security questions.
“Has anyone given you any packages that you didn’t pack yourself?” he asked. The woman told him that her mother-in-law had given her a parcel to take to her son. The customs agent looked at the woman in a very carefully and asked, “Does she like you?”
Crooked Cop
“Do you think when a crooked cop is having sex with his wife, he yells out, “Stop Resisting”?
A Few Days
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheque.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
To which he replied. “That would be fine with me.”
Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Be Silent
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country.
She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, “BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO…..”
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts “Be silent!”
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, “OEING! OEING! OEING! OE….”
Dictionary of Dating
ATTRACTION – the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT – what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING – the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL – avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
EASY – a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT – a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman’s eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND – a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE – a woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as “playing hard to get.”
INTERESTING – a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT – what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY – how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC – a man’s term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
SOBER – a condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love
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