Artificial Intelligence

Jun 5, 2021

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An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his classes. He ended up creating a program where you could have a conversation with your computer based on your IQ level.

To test his program he entered 80 and had a conversation with his Soap Operas. He entered 100 and talked about politics. He entered 150 and talked about nuclear physics.

Just to see what would happen he entered a -50 and the computer bumped and belched and sparked and smoked for a good 10 minutes. When it finally settled down it displayed “On Brave Old Army Team…..”

Divorce Couple at a Party

Jun 5, 2021

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After a bitter divorce, a man saw his ex-wife at a party and walk over. Sneering and he said, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”

The ex-wife simply sighed and replied, “Yes dear, I know, but at that time I was too in love and didn’t really notice you were.”

Chicken Sandwiches

Jun 5, 2021

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A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.

Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken sandwich.

He said, “Hey, how come you’re not eating chicken, don’t you like it anymore?”

She said “I love it but I have to stop eating it.” “Why?” he asked. She pointed to her lap and said “Cause I’m starting to grow little feathers down there!”

“Let me see” he said. “Okay” and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, “That’s right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.”

He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter.

He said to the little girl, “I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I’m starting to get feathers down there too!”

She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her.

She said, “Oh, my God, it’s too late for you! You’ve already got the neck and the gizzards.”

Blind Parachuting

Jun 5, 2021

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A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were alldone for him:

“I am placed in the door and told when to jump”

“My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go”

“But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked.

“I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground” he answered.

“But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?” he was again asked.

He quickly answered “Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack”.

Good Privacy Idea

Jun 5, 2021

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Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home.

When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.

Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: ‘Insurance agent. Ask about our life-term package today.’

Ugly Baby

Jun 5, 2021

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A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, ‘That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen.

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “There’s no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”