Locked in Hotel Room

Jun 5, 2021

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An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess.

The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.

She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.

“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied, “There are only three doors in here, “she cried,” one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

Great News

Jun 5, 2021

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The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.
“We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.”

“Well, tell me!” the man said. The policeman said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”

Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”

So the policeman said, “I’m sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in San Francisco Bay.”
“Oh my god!,” said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

“Well,” said the policeman, “When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her.”

“If that’s the good news than what’s the great news?!”, Mr. Wilkens demanded.

The policeman said, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow morning.”

Missed the Train

Jun 5, 2021

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Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only discover that they had missed the train. The stationmaster said, “The next train is in one hour.”

The three of them went back into the bar. The parents had another drinks while Blake had a soda. About an hour later, again, they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered again that the train is pulling away. Again, the stationmaster tell them that the next train will be in another hour.

Again, the three of them went back to the bar, but this time, Blake and his parents decide to order only soda for all of them. About an hour later, Blake with his parents, raced out onto the platform and his parents leaped on the train while the train is about to pull away. Blake was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously. The stationmaster sees this and asked, “Your parents just left you here. Why are you laughing?” Blake replies, “They were suppose to see me off.”