Smuggling

Jun 5, 2021

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While crossing the US-Mexico border on his bicycle, a man was stopped by the guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. “What’s in the sacks?”, asked the guard. “Sand,” said the cyclist. The guard then tell the cyclist to remove them so they could check the sacks.

The cyclist did as he was told and emptied the sacks. Only sand was pour out proving the cyclist was not lying. He then reload the sacks, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.

One week later, the same thing happen. Again, the guard demanded to check the two sacks, which again contained nothing but sands. This went on every week for a year, until one day, the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.

Some time later, the guard happen to meet the cyclist downtown. The guard said. “Say friend, you sure had us crazy, we knew you were smuggling something across the border. I promise you I won’t say a word, but can you tell me what is it you were smuggling?” The cyclist replied. “Bicycles!”

Noise in the Jetliner Engine

Jun 5, 2021

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Noise in the Jetliner Engine Jokes Times

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.

After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?” “The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the Flight Attendant, “and it took us a while to find a new pilot.”

Stages of Marriage

Jun 5, 2021

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Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

Married life is frustrating. The first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

All I Want Is…

Jun 5, 2021

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When I was in junior. high, all I wanted was a girl with big tits. In high school, I dated a girl with big tits, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.

I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned. Now all I want is a girl with big tits.

Mommy and Daddy

Jun 5, 2021

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There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer.

So the teacher asks Bobby, “What is this animal called?”

“I dunno,” claims Bobby.

So then she says, “I’ll give you a hint: it’s what your mother calls your father.”

The boy thinks for a minute and then says, “Oh that’s what a son of a bitch looks like!”

Always By My Side

Jun 5, 2021

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A man was walking across the road when he met the accident. The impact was on his head which caused him to be comatosed for two days before he finally regained consciousness.

When he opens his eyes, his wife was there beside him. He held her hands and said meaningfully : “You have always been beside me. When I was a struggling university student, I failed again and again. And sometimes, even my re-papers as well. You were always there beside me, encouraging me to go on trying..”

She squeezed his hands as he continued :”When I went for all the major interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there beside me, cutting out more adverts for me to apply…” He continued “Then I started work at this little firm and finally got to handle a big contract. I blew it because of one little mistake. And you were there beside me.”

Then I finally got another job after being laid off for sometime. But I never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not recognised. As such, I remained in the same position from the day I join the company till now… And you were there beside me”

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she listened to her husband :”And now I met an accident and when I woke up, you are here beside me….

….There’s something I’ll really like to say to you…” She flung herself on the bed to hug her husband, and sobbing with emotion.

He said…, ” I think you really bring me bad luck..”