Saturday, April 19, 2025
Hot

Mommy, How Old Are You Jokes Times

Little Jenny walked into the kitchen one day and looked up at her mother, who was busy cooking dinner. “Mommy, how old are you?” she asked.

“Now dear,” said her mother, “You should never ask a woman what her age is.”

“Why not?” demanded Jenny.

“Because it isn’t polite. You’ll understand better when you grow up.”

Jenny thought about it for a moment, then piped up, “Mommy, how much do you weigh?”

“Jenny,” said her mother, “That’s not a question you ask people.”

“Why not?” demanded Jenny.

“Because it’s not polite to ask grown-ups about how much they weigh. You’ll understand some day.”

“Mommy,” Jenny asked, “Why did you and Daddy get divorced?”

“Darling,” her mother replied with a sigh, “That’s something that’s still very painful for Mommy, and I really can’t talk about it now. I’ll explain when you are a little older.”

The next day, Jenny told a friend at school about the conversation with her mother. The other little girl explained to her, “All you have to do is get a look at your mom’s driver’s license. It has all the information about any grown-up you want on it.”

So little Jenny sneaked a peek in her mother’s purse when she got home, and looked over her license, examining it carefully. That evening, she went back into the kitchen and announced, “I know how old you are, Mommy, You are 36!”

Her mother looked down at her, surprised. “And I know how much you weigh!” said Jenny. “You weigh 135 pounds.” “Jenny, where did you learn this?”, her mother asked. Jenny just smiled and continued, “And, I know why you and Daddy got a divorce.” Her mother just gasped and asked, “Why?”

Jenny replied, “Because you got an F in sex!”

0 199
Adam Organs Jokes Times

One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news.

‘I’ve got some good news and some bad news’, The Lord said.

Adam looked at The Lord and said, ‘Well, give me the good news first.’

Smiling, The Lord explained, ‘I’ve got two new organs for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve.

The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.’

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, ‘These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?’

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, ‘The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time.’

Millionaire Jokes Times

A woman was telling her friend, “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.”

“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.

The woman replied, “A billionaire”.

Flying to Europe Jokes Times

Maudie is flying on a jumbo-jet to Europe. Once in the air the loudspeaker comes on “This is your captain Emilia Rodrigues. We are cruising at 35,000 feet…etc. etc.” When the announcement is finished Maudie beckons to a stewardess and asks, “Is it really true that this great big airplane is being flown by a woman?”

“Yes, says the stewardess, Captain Rodrigues is a woman.”

“How wonderful!” Maudie replied “I am so excited! Do you think you can arrange for me to go up to the cockpit to congratulate her?”

“Yes, I think I can arrange that. You might also like to know that the co-pilot is also a woman.”

“Oh, how exciting. This is wonderful news! Please let me go to the cockpit so I can congratulate them both!”

“OK, you can do that. You might like to know that actually the entire crew of this plane are women.”

“That is the most exciting thing I have heard in a long time …this has really made my day … I just have to go to the cockpit to express my admiration!”

“One more thing you might like to know …we don’t call it the cockpit any more.”

Thirsty Snake Jokes Times

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realised he had forgotten to bring any bait.

Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing.

An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth…

0 172
Remember The Days Jokes Times

A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show of note

A window was something you hated to clean…

Ram was the cousin of a goat…

Meg was the name of my girlfriend

Gig was a job for the nights

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano

Memory was something that you lost with age

A cd was a bank account

Compress was something you did to the garbage, not something you did to a file

If you unzipped anything in public, you’ be in jail for a while

Log on was adding wood to the fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

Cut you did with a pocket knife

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spider’s home

A virus was the flu

I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash, but when it happens they wish they were dead

YOU MAY LIKE

Dead Chicken Jokes Times

0 420
It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun...
A Sex Talk Jokes Times

Musical Octopus Jokes Times

How Many Times Jokes Times

FACEBOOK

4,844FansLike