A woman was telling her friend, “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
The woman replied, “A billionaire”.
A woman was telling her friend, “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
The woman replied, “A billionaire”.
A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..”
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?”
The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”
Young Actor: Dad, guess what? I’ve just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who’s been married for 30 years.
Father: Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you’ll get a speaking part.
John and Mary visit their doctor for marriage counseling. The doctor gets up and hugs Mary, and sit down. He gets up again, and hugs Mary a second time, then a third time.
He then turns to John and says, “See that, John. Mary needs that everyday!”
John Replies, “Well, that’s fine, Doctor. But I can’t bring her over here on Tuesday and Friday as I’m playing golf on these days.”
One day, this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.
“What’s the matter?” the bartender asks.
“My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t talking to me for a whole 31 days.”
The bartender thought about this for a while. “But, isn’t it a good thing that she isn’t talking to you?” asked the bartender. ”
“Yeah, except today is the last night.”
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.