Saturday, March 29, 2025
Home Jokes

Goose and the Gander Philosophy Jokes Times

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

The husband says “WHAT??”

The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can’t decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them.

Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewellery Dept. where she gets a set of diamond ear rings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out – but she does not argue. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says “but you don’t even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let’s get it.”

The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on.

She says “I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register.” The husband stops and says, “No, honey I don’t feel like buying all this stuff now.”

The wife’s face goes blank.

“No honey – I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.” The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the Husband says, “You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man.”

2 369
New Hearing Aid Jokes Times

Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”

Prescription Jokes Times

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office.

“Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,”I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.”

0 246
Better Run Jokes Times

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.

At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co worker to a foot race down to the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”

Setting Up a Printer Jokes Times

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer’s tech support number, complaining about the error message: “Can’t find the printer.”

On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in front of the screen, but the computer still couldn’t find it.

YOU MAY LIKE

0 388
The wealthy old gentleman and his wife were celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary and their three grown sons joined them for dinner. The old man...
Crooked Cop Jokes Times

Lone Ranger and Tonto Jokes Times

The Bathtub Test Jokes Times

FACEBOOK

4,844FansLike