A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
“You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
“What took you so long to answer?”
“I was in bed.”
“What were you doing in bed this late?”
“Getting a second opinion.”
Got a call from a woman said that her laser printer was having problems: the bottom half of her printed sheets were coming out blurry.
It seemed strange that the printer was smearing only the bottom half. I walked her through the basics, then went over and printed out a test sheet.
It printed fine. I asked her to print a sheet, so she sent a job to
the printer.
As the paper started coming out, she yanked it out and showed it to me. I told her to wait until the paper came out on its own. Problem solved.
A father believed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son…
“When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.”
Without looking up from his game, the boy pointed out, “When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States.”
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light among company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!”
A cynical male listener overheard and spoke up, “Lady, what you really want is a television set!”
A businessman taking a seminar on efficiency completed a case study of his wife’s routine for fixing breakfast, and presented the results to the class.
“After a few days of observation, I quickly determined the practices that were robbing her of her precious time and energy,” the man
reported, “taking note of how many trips she made from the kitchen to the dining room carrying just one item, I suggested that in the future she carry several items at a time.”
“Did it work?”, the teacher asked.
“It sure did,” replied the businessman, “instead of taking her 20 minutes to fix my breakfast, it now takes ME just seven.”
A woman is helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer, and tells him that he will now need to choose and enter a password that he wants to use when logging on. The husband is in a rather amorous mood and figures he will try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention so, when the computer asks him to enter his password, he makes it plainly obvious to his wife that he is keying in “penis”…
His wife nearly falls off her chair from laughing so hard when the computer replies:
**PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH **
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