The Pharmacist

Jun 6, 2021

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Dude walks into a pharmacy laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing. The pharmacist is perplexed but doesn’t give it a second thought.

The next day the same guy walks in laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing.

The pharmacist remembers the day before and starts to wonder what’s up but not for too long because he has work to do. The next day the same guy walks in laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing.

Now the pharmacist is intrigued as to what is going on with this guy so he arranges with his assistant to follow the guy and find out where he is going, should the man return.

Wouldn’t you know it, The same guy comes back the next day, laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing.

The assistant followed him as per his orders and came back 20 minutes later.The eager pharmacist asked his assistant where the man went?The assistant said: “Your house.”

Follow My Orders

Jun 6, 2021

0 79

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office.

After his check up, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”

“Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood.

For lunch make him a nutritious meal.

For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

Don’t burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, you should satisfy his every whim sexually several times a week.”

“If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.”

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?”

“You’re going to die,” she replied.

How Many?

Jun 6, 2021

0 128

A teenage boy has a hot date one evening so he decides to buy some condoms.

He goes into the pharmacy and sees that there are 3, 9, and 12 packs of condoms. He talks to the pharmacists and says his date that night is really hot so he decides to go with the 12 pack.

That evening, he eats dinner with his date and her family and they ask him to say grace. He proceeds to do so and then continues to keep his head down and prays.

After a while, his date says I didn’t know you were such a religious person.

He replies, “I didn’t know your dad was a pharmacist!”

I Want To Be A Dentist

Jun 6, 2021

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The beautiful young lady in the dentist’s chair was nervously wringing her hands.

” Oh dear,” she said, “I’m so nervous. It’s so frightening. I think I’d rather have a baby than my teeth seen to.”

“Well,” replied the dentist,” which would you like the most just let me know and I’ll adjust the chair and my clothes accordingly.”

Nuts

Jun 6, 2021

0 79

A DOCTOR at an asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game.

For weeks in advance, he coached his nutty patients to respond to his commands.

When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled: “Up nuts!” And the inmates complied by standing up.

After the anthem he yelled: “Down Nuts!” And they all sat. After a home run he yelled: “Cheer nuts!” And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied: “Well…everything was fine until some vendor walked by and yelled, `PEANUTS!’.”